Whod you bang
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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