i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
