i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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