I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You know, be my cock's hype man.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
