Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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