i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
It's Friday. Sex?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
