Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
