So drunk its hurt
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
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She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
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Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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