Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
