It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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