there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
