At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
