dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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