Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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