It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize