Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
is wine microwaveable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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