its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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