I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
