spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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