i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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