the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
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Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
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Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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