why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
