In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
