I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize