i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
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When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
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He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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