Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
