I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
