I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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