would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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