My nipple is on Facebook.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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