I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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