I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
