I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
