I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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