New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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