i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
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