I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
