your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
