i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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