Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
