My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
