Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
