I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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