All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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