No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
