i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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