She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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