Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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