Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I wish you could order shots online.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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