I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
