At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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