I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
