it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize