this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
