After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
