I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
i now understand why vodka
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
