Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
