She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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